What is an immersive gamer?

Immersion is a collective term for all the things within a game (or movie, or book, or theme-park attraction,) that contribute to the suspension of disbelief. The things that help you forget you are playing a game. When you play a shooter game, and numbers scroll off the top of your character's head every time you lose life, that breaks immersion. It reminds you that this is just a game. If there are circles on the ground around your character and his or her party, or a conspicuous heads-up display (unless of course, you're playing a cyber game and have robot eyes, or feedback-enabled goggles or something,) or funky sound effects every time you use a tool or draw a weapon- all those things remind you that this is just a game.  An immersive gamer seeks to remove or avoid as much as possible anything that will have this reminding effect, and will seek out games and mods which eliminate such distractions.

Immersion gaming is not about realism- although realism can strongly contribute to immersion, in fact, in a sense, realism and immersion are complimentary sides of the same coin. Immersion is about what you DON'T want to see or experience, whereas realism is about the things you DO want to see or experience. While immersion contributes to realism, and vice versa,  they are distinct concepts, and immersive gamers span the spectrum as to precisely how much realism they desire from their gaming experience. Some just don't want basic game mechanics to distract them. Others want to walk from place to place on the game map in real time, and experience the very blisters on their virtual feet.

I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, myself, and often drift around inside it, prefering more or less realism from my game on any given day.

The single biggest reason for wanting to immerse this way is for the sake of roleplay. For the hours during which I am playing a character within a game world, I want to be that person, in that place. You might say it's much like method acting, in that respect, but of course, it's generally for our own pleasure, rather than the benefit of others.

Immersing in a game changes it fundamentally. The objectives change. You are no longer trying to win, to level up, to earn achievements- instead, you, as the character you play, are trying to survive, to overcome an enemy, to solve a mystery. Beating the game becomes irrelevant. Being the game becomes everything.

Where to Begin?

Let's get something straight right at the start- I could not care less about your DPS, your DoT, your build, your guild, or your PvP score, and you won't be finding discussions of that stuff here. I value different qualities in the games I play. I'm pretty sure the things I look for in my games are things that everyone, or at least a lot of people, want- but for me, they come first. I'm not here to kick the crap out of a dragon. Okay- I am, but long before I get to that dragon, I want to create, and become, someone new. I want to take in the scenery of a glorious, graphical world. I want to immerse myself in lore and culture. I want to find my place and experience it.

Here's what I consider critical in the games I choose to play, somewhat, but not precisely, in order of importance:

1.  Glorious graphics. This used to fall lower on my list, and can be upstaged by other qualities, but in a world with incredible designers and amazing graphics engines, it's just stupid to expect less than incredible and amazing. Also? I revel in the wonder of screenshot art, and pointy polygons just don't cut it for me anymore.
2. Moddability. Why is this so close to the top of the list? Wouldn't it make more sense to expect games to be awesome WITHOUT a ton of help from the modding community? Well, sure, but my expectations are ridiculously high. I'm a mod-spoiled brat. Besides, no game is ever going to be perfect right out of the box, and no game is going to be perfect for everyone's playstyle. Game companies make ridiculous amounts of money, but their coffers are not bottomless, and they do have time constraints. As long as a game CAN be modded to fuck and back, they don't have to be perfect. The companies can concentrate on building a solid foundation for modders to beautify and fine-tune. 
3. Custom character creation. No, I don't just mean what color my character's eyes are, either. I mean, give me a blank slate. Let me devise my own reasons for following the quest your game offers. Let me decide how I want to play your game. This probably belongs at the top of this list, because I don't generally play games that don't allow me to do this. (There have been a few very rare exceptions.) It's a deal-breaker for me, for the most part, but I also recognize that it's one of the hardest criteria to meet, or at least to meet well. For me though, it's critical both to my enjoyment of a game, as well as to that game's replay value. When you play as I do, it's all about the story, and if I have to play a pregenerated character, I might as well read a book. (Not that I'm knocking reading books- but it's a very different medium!)
4. Brilliant writing. Tell me a story. Tell me a dozen. Make me CARE that the end is nigh, and that I and my ragtag band of heroes are the only ones who can save it. Better yet, give me doubts. Make me question my reasons for saving it. Offer me alternatives to saving it. Give me henchmen who can hold their own in a conversation, as well as in a fight. Surprise me. Fool me. Lead me on. If you've made it this far into this post, then I don't need to explain why. You know how to read, and you're not offended by or afraid of words. Also, hopefully, you're curious about what comes next.
5. Quality voice actors. Not every game uses voice actors at this point, but unvoiced characters are fast becoming a rarity. That said, if a game uses them at all, it should do it right. Doing it poorly is worse than not doing it at all.
6. Beautiful and compelling design. Design of the UI, design of the world, (landscape & architecture,) design of the characters, design of the creatures, the clothing, the armor and weapons. If I want FF VII, then I'll play FF VII. If I want Morrowwind, that's what I'll play. Skyrim is not Oblivion. Dragon Age is not Guild Wars. Show me something I've never seen before. 
7. Fluid animations and the ability to interact smoothly with the world around me. Again, this doesn't need much explanation, really. I absolutely adore the Dragon Age games, but even after hundreds of hours of play I forget that, while I can slay an undead horde, I can also be completely barricaded by a six-inch curb. Jumping is a good thing.
8. A compelling game system. Game mechanics ARE still important to me, even if they fall wayyyyy down here at the bottom of the list. For me, the best thing a game system can offer is options. More is better. Give me archery, melee, and magic. Give me stealth and style. And give me the room to blend those elements into something your game's designer might not even have foreseen. 

There's more, but that's the real core. Do I expect a lot? I do. How many games have I even found that fill all of these expectations? Exactly... none. But the moddability factor counts for a lot, and with that, there are, so far, only a handful. But it's a big future ahead of us... So much to look forward to!

Games I consider worthy, that I've had the pleasure of playing thus far:  
(In order of my experience, not necessarily quality.)

• Neverwinter Nights. Yeah, it falls a million miles short of graphically beautiful, and animations are clunky and sad. But for moddability, and for game mechanics, it does not get better than NWN. 
• Neverwinter Nights 2. Bioware took steps in the right direction- the graphics improved incalculably, and they kept most of the brilliant game mechanics, although sadly, the moddability factor plummeted. the toolset offered with NWN2 was complicated and unwieldy, and the modding community suffered for it. Still, entirely worth playing, and though the modders were fewer, they still produced a vast collection of game improvements and customizations. Both versions of NWN still have dedicated and thriving player communities, even today, and both games breach the wall into multiplayer more smoothly than any MMO to date.
• Skyrim. What do I need to say? It's freakin' SKYRIM. To be fair though, it's far from perfect. All who have played it know, it's console-skewwed, and doesn't translate as well as it should into PC format- problems the modding community are hard at work cleaning up. 
• Morrowwind. I have yet to play this one all the way through. The game mechanics are a bit awkward for me, and the moddability factor isn't what it could be, but it's glorious for it's time, and compelling enough that I hope to one day get comfortable with it.
• Oblivion. As above- still to this day trying to get comfortable with the system, but the moddability improved measurably in the wake of Morrowwind. As predecessors to Skyrim, both Morrowwind and Oblivion are quite compelling offerings, and more than worthy of my collection!
• Dear Esther. Okay, NO character customization. And NO interaction with the world. It's more interactive art than an actual game- but it's so freaking beautiful that it still goes on my list.
• Fallout 3/Fallout New Vegas. Not classic fantasy, but every bit as beautiful, customizable, and epic as Bethesda's other offerings.
• Guild Wars 2. Yeah, I know- it's an MMO. The only one I've ever really played. (okay, I admit, I've played a little Neverwinter Online, but I'm not proud of it.) GW2 is excellent. Fits most of my criteria, though as an MMO, it's non-moddable. It doesn't need to be. It's brilliant and beautiful.
• Dragon Age: Origins. And I'm back to praising Bioware, it seems. It's not perfect, it's not as sandboxy as I tend to prefer, and I can't freaking JUMP... but the writing, the acting, the graphics, the UI, the story, the possibilities, the interactions... I had barely heard of it, a friend pointed out they were having a free giveaway, (probably to stir up fresh interest for the upcoming Dragon Age:Inquisition,) so I took it for a spin- and here I am, gaming like a junky, like I haven't since my early NWN days. 
• Dragon Age II. Well after the way DA:O shook up my happy little gaming world, I just HAD to have it, right? Even though there were so many bad reviews, and so much shit was talked about it, and from outside, the interface looked wretched, and... and... I had to have it. And ... I was more than pleasantly surprised. It's got problems, it's true, but in many ways, it's one of the finest games I've ever played. Well worth the cover price, now that it's $20 instead of $50.